This Bright Hope…

Tonight, I am waiting to see one of our CCI teams off on another cross-country trek. While I was waiting, I decided to do what everyone with countless details and conflicts, dreams and demands should do – I ran. I ran – harder and farther than I have in a long time. I ran to the edge of exhaustion, and I pushed myself farther and farther into the sweat and the pain. My calves burning, knees begging for relief, drenched in sweat and straining, I ran past the mental marker denoting the edge of my previous jogging forays. I felt sick, worn out, used up. Done.

Life’s like that. You work. You try. Hard. Harder. You psych yourself up, only to see your dreams struck down – again and again. Every fiber of your being cries out for something, begs for relief…but there is no hope, at least none that you can see. In the words of songwriter Jon Foreman: “You’re pushing ’til you’re shoving – you bend until you break, ’til you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay.” The very difficulty of the living takes the life out of you. Raise your hand if you have felt this way… and if your hand isn’t up, it’s likely haven’t lived long enough.  I wonder how many of us spend our days locked in the solitary confinement of desperation, feeling abandoned, discarded, wondering where the life is in life.

Back to my run. As I pushed my protesting body over the pavement, I did so with certainty of what awaited me at the end of the run. A lovely blend of Hydrogen and Oxygen commonly known as “water”, a soft bed…rest…my wife and baby girl…I would forget the pain of the last half-hour in the bliss of the AC. I had hope. now, back to life.

The real tragedy of Christianity in our time, the one that the clergy-charlatans and theologians alike miss, is that everyday, ordinary, hopeless and desperate people can spend their whole lives in contact with church-attendees and pretend preachers on TV and never know that there is hope. Because beyond whether Rob Bell, or John Piper, or Mark Driscoll is right about Jesus (and for two of those, I certainly hope not), there is one thing I know to be absolutely true about the message of Jesus: God wants you to know that you are not alone. His desire for you to know this was so great, that His very blood screamed the message from bloody timbers. You are not alone. There is hope. God himself has come for you. Bled for you. There is hope. Not the ethereal hope of Utopian myth, not the soulless hope of modern mechanics, but the keen-edged hope of the Creator who promises that one day, the scales will be balanced and love will win. Justice will meet Mercy, and Creation will be renewed. Heaven and Earth, together again.

This is my hope. Not just because I believe it is coming, but because I have heard the rumblings of what is to come. Every time love wins out over violence, we glimpse the world-to-come. Every time forgiveness is chosen over retribution, the skies crack and heaven shines through. Every time I fall down and ruin everything and find myself set back on my feet, I hear the whispered promise that things have begun to go right. For all of us, atheist and preachers, devout and outcast, alone and forgotten, or well-loved and popular. There is hope…

“Throwing the First Stone”

As everyone who can read this now knows, Usama (Osama) Bin Laden is dead – at the hands of US government operatives. Around the country, reports of rejoicing poured in…Our enemy is dead. Or is he? Sometimes I wish it could be that easy, but the way of Jesus never is. I didn’t, of course, know Usama personally, and I should probably be thankful for that…but let me tell you what I do know…

Jesus was given dozens of opportunities to deal out judgement, death, and retribution – he did not take one. Here are a few of his thoughts on justice, judgement, and condemnation:

• “ You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one.” [John 8 ]
• ““But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”
• “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5)
• To a women condemned to death for breaking “God’s law”, He says “I do not condemn you” [John 8 ]
• The most prolific author of what we call the “New Testament” was Paul aka “Saul”, a former terrorist and murderer of entire families. In spite of his history, the Church forgave and accepted him.

According to the teachings of Jesus and his disciples, our enemies are not human. Our enemies are not terrorists…not flesh and blood. Paul the ex-terrorist said that “the last enemy to be defeated is death”. When that happens, when no one else has to die, I will rejoice. But not today…

A Vagabond Father’s Perspective.

It’s amazing how quickly time passes. It almost seems cliche’ to  say it, but it’s a reality for me right now. I have always been comfortable talking about my perspective on anything, but this whole fatherhood bit…I seem to struggle to elucidate my feelings on the whole experience. It is something I love so much that it has almost instantly become a part of my very identity. I am no longer just an individual, no longer a partner to my wife, I am a nurturer – a teacher, a father. There truly is no feeling like this.

As far as the practicalities of parenting go – I’ve started figuring this concept out in reverse. For me, the process of understanding the countless decisions I must make in the years ahead begins with understanding the legacy I want to leave my daughter. What that will look like is – obviously – a reality that time alone can manifest, but unless I understand what I am aiming for I fear that my daughter will end up wondering why her father left her only the memories of a misspent life.  More than avoiding a future of hesitancy, however, I want to give my daughter the gift of momentum, of knowing that she is a part of a bigger story, and that what I have done with my life was in the fanatical, radical chasing after “Unarmed Truth and Unconditional Love” (MLK) that characterizes the Way of Jesus. That inevitably leads me to the self-searching question: “What will it look like for me to live a life that results in a legacy for my daughter that I (and she) can be proud of?”

I have no doubt this process will take the rest of my life to work out, but every story has a beginning, and every journey has a first step, so here for your interaction are my resolutions regarding the legacy that I will leave Lux:

I will leave a legacy of questions:

Humanity so blindly accepts the perspectives foisted upon them by their nationality, their religion, their demographic, and the carefully crafted messages of the marketing machines. To rise above, we must learn to evaluate all that we see and hear. This world is not what it seems. Learning how to ask the right questions is an integral part of living a life of value. Question everything – but take care to ask the right questions. Questions aren’t the end – simply the means.

I will leave a legacy of action:

Surveys and studies indicate the overpowering reality that the critical determining factor in whether children follow in their parent’s footsteps is whether definitive action based on belief has been demonstrated during their formative years. Parents, you can lecture, scold and shame all you want, but you will make little progress if you aren’t demonstrating what you want your kids to value. This is exactly why American churches aren’t transmitting their values to the next generation. Too much talk, precious little substance. I want my daughter to know that what I believed in was valued enough to demand my effort, my energy…my everything. It is not enough for me to say to her “here are my beliefs, preserved and transmitted intact to you as a valuable family heirloom.” Rather, I want my legacy to her to be like a dinted weapon – scuffed and scarred in battle, a constant reminder that she is part of a dangerous story – a High Adventure worthy of all she has to give. The legacy of experience, that is a worthy gift – it is a constant call to action.

I will leave a legacy of dreams.

To be specific, I want to leave my daughter a legacy of dreams pursued. I fear that too many parents feel that, regardless of who they were created to be, their only purpose for postpartum existence is to focus all their resources on seeing their offspring into adulthood. Parenthood is a heavy responsibility, no doubt, but it shouldn’t consume our identity. Becoming a father has spurred me to push harder in pursuit of my dreams. I want to be able to look my daughter square in the eyes someday and say “I pursued with every fiber of being the gifts and potential I was created for – and so should you.” I know that countless influences in Lux’s life will militate themselves against her dreaming or seeking to manifest the world she will dream of. The only way I know of to teach her to be a dreamer and dream-pursuer is to become one myself. Everyone settles for something, and I choose not to settle for less than I was intended to be – if only so my daughter knows that she can live likewise.

 

So there it is. The first threads that will become the work of art known as my legacy. What will it look like to me and to you? Most importantly, what will it look like to the next generation?

Time and Perspective

“I find that my core beliefs about life, love, and following Jesus have been radically reshaped, and that I am entering the next phase of my life with a new set of priorities and a new mindset”

 

I wrote this on my blog in June of ’08. Without excessive reflection, I can now say that I was just realizing some things that have come to define me. I believe that the thing we grapple with the most, those of us who claim to be Jesus-followers, is His demand that our identity be wrapped up in His way of life. He asks for our ideas – our cherished, pet superiorities, our smug assumptions, our very perspective. He asks for them at the moment of least convenience. Understand this, though – if we refuse to surrender these things, then our journey can continue no farther. We will remain self-righteous hypocrites, hobnobbing at the temple of whatever cherished idea has become our religion.

 

I fear that most of what we understand to be “Christian” belief and practice is simply a vain attempt to coerce God into supporting us while co-opting His resources. Being people of transformation means that said transformation is a process that we are experiencing personally. Too often we think that we can opt out of the transformation and still receive the benefits. Not so – following Jesus means the whole thing, or none of it. You cannot walk the Way of the suffering, servant Savior without participating in His life. His simple “Follow Me” becomes a dangerous concept when we begin to grasp what it actually means.

 

What ideas, beliefs, or assumptions has following Jesus cost you?

Are you moving forward on your journey, and if not, why?

Where do the life and teachings of Jesus come into conflict with your own life and teachings?

 

What are your thoughts?

The Suburban Vagabond

Immanuel

In the end, when,

in fear you cry

I tell you they lied

He’s not cold, he’s not a distant father

The whispers are true

The cosmos bent, rent

Newborn Love sent

When heaven touched, loved

Embraced by eternal

I tell you they lied, not cold

Here is heavens tears

And heaven is here, and now

Not a patriarch aloof

The proof, a bleeding God

These veins translucent

This life the proof, the seal

Not an angry God

Not indignant, burning

Fearful heart broken

Behold compassion’s token, spoken

Unconditional redemption

He has sworn by Himself, no greater

The thief and traitor

Forgiven, anointed and free

By a beautiful life and a bloody cross

So come frail heart, come taste

Leave the broken hourglass

Leave your bruises, your wonder reclaim

In this hallowed place

Of God with us, with grace

Plight the troth of hope

Heaven and earth have embraced, at long last

With the lonely leaving disgrace

With the prisoners, shattered chains

And raise the cry

That Death has died, never to live

All glory give

The Lamb come, slain

Risen, reigns

Kingdom without end

Amen, amen

 

 

 

Walls in Our Hearts: Jesus and Reconciliation

We know the scene all too well. Proponents of a grand Something (though we’re not sure what) are shouting angrily, waving signs, hoarsely screaming slogans, chanting grammatically dubious rhymes. Facing them down in staunch disapproval, the proponents of the Other Something join in the cacophony, voicing their undying opposition to, well, the elusive Something. All but the staunchest politicos cringe when this scene flashes on our television screens. Yet in a time where the voice of the individual is drowned out by the party line and the corporate commercial, how is one be heard without screaming?

Welcome to the culture of antagonism. Today we despise. Today we minimize. Today we hurt. Liberal. Conservative. Independent. Undecided. Homosexual. Fundamentalist. Muslim. Christian. Jew. Take a sign, scream an epithet, bite, claw, and scratch until you can declare yourself the dubious victor of yet another micro-culture-war. Tired of this endless cycle? Well maybe you’re just too weak to be a True Believer. Maybe you’re one of Them…

In the age of Omnipotent Information, we have forgotten much. Perhaps it is not intentional, perhaps there’s a conspiracy, and perhaps we’re all involved. And somewhere in the background, a Still Small Voice that we all want to ignore whispers outlandish things like “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies…” Stop the presses! Love my enemies?! What heresy is this? Yet the Voice continues: “If you love those who love you, what good is it? Are not even the corporate scumbags doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the ignorant do that?” What heresy indeed! Yet this Voice belongs to the alleged founding father (or at least co-conspirator) of all this discord…Jesus.

Wait, Jesus said this? We all know Jesus, and we’re all pretty sure He walks, talks, and looks like one of Us (you know, the True Believers…). What’s more, He endorses our agenda…or does He? From whence comes our insatiable drive to be “righter” than those who we disagree with? Certainly not from the Homeless Rabbi. Indeed, among the consorts of the wildly misrepresented Messiah, one could find every social, economic, political and ideological demographic of His time. the Prince of Peace consorted with fishermen, pharisees, prostitutes, gangsters, high-rollers, and power-brokers with a shocking disregard of their position or belief about well…anything. What was He thinking?!

There’s this incredible scene in the gospel (the story of Jesus) about a time when Jesus just wanted to get from point A to point B. in the course of  his Messianic wanderings, Jesus and his posse rolled into a village that was Samaritan territory. All Jesus and the disciples wanted was a place to stay, but these Samaritans would have none of it. Understandably, the disciples were incensed (and not with the stuff you get at the gas station, either…). In fact, they were so worked up that they asked Jesus if they could call down “fire from heaven” on those stinking non-believers. In our time, the conversation would go something like this: “Jesus, I can call my congregation, my cousins, and create a Facebook cause. We’ll show those stupid non-believer (young, old, hippie,hipster, redneck, spineless, warmongering, commie, punk, backward, you get the point…)  what happens when they mess with us. If we play this right , we might even make cable news, the blogs, or talk radio. Let’s stage a protest. Andrew, hand me the cardboard and markers!”  Yet Jesus told them to put a lid on it (if you watch the old Jesus movies, it was something like “Shut thy face”…). Weird.

So what gives? We get it backwards when we put “rightness” before righteousness (clever, eh?). It’s not about shouting louder, winning the argument, or even having one. It’s not about beating people down, it’s about coming alongside them and lifting them up. Of course it’s not popular in the polls or the pulpit, but if you want to be “right”, then you have to be like Jesus. What’s that like? Well Paul the apostle (said in a deep, gravelly voice) said He is our Peace, the breaker of walls. Walls in our hearts, walls that we’re so sure keep us safe, but actually keep us in the dreary confines of narcissism.

Jesus talked a lot about something He called the Kingdom of God. A lot of people argue about this Kingdom (of course!), but there’s one thing I can tell you about it: You can only begin to understand it when you stop shouting and start listening to that Still Small Voice…the one that tells you to love instead of despise, to listen instead of shout, the one that tells you to put down the signs and swords, and pick up the sign of Peace…the Cross.

In conclusion, I am well aware that there are some of us who need more than this; we need a reason…a practical one. how about this? In His prayer, Jesus told us to ask God to forgive us “as we forgive”. Sounds like a good reason to lower our proverbial and literal swords to me. In addition, in His lauded-but-never-heeded “Sermon on the Mount”, Jesus said “Blessed are the Peacemakers”. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be blessed than vindicated.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Wilderness: Inviting and Seeking the Kingdom and the King

I spent this afternoon wandering in the patch of woods I have come to know as “The Wilderness”. The reason for my visit was that recent events have shown me to be seriously lacking in an aspect of my relationship with God. Over the past couple of months, I have become so focused on “inviting” God to be a part of my everyday experiences that I fear I have neglected an equally important part of my relationship with God: seeking. In the Bible,  I see two equally important ideas in relating to God ultimately stemming from the same concept: that of being as closely connected to the person of Jesus as possible. The first approach is the “invitational” approach. This is the conscious act of offering our everyday experiences and actions to God as worship (12:1). I think it is easy to distort this into an expectation that God will approve our actions like some sort of divine rubber stamp, making our ideas successful and bringing prosperity to all that we do. The second approach to our relationship with Christ (discipleship) is what brings balance to the first. You can’t have one without the other. Indeed (as I have already said), they both stem from the same desire, but I will elaborate on that in conclusion. The second part of our relationship with God is that of seeking. I would define this as “a conscious physical separation from conversation, responsibility,  and activity to actively engaging in prayer, scripture meditation, and communion with God”

Let’s be honest; most of us want God to take part in our lives but spend little time learning to discern His voice among the thousand whispers that constantly pull us in myriad directions. Unfortunately, discipleship without an active seeking of communion with God is at best a hollow endeavor, akin to trying to navigate a hike in the mountains without a map or compass. It is imperative that we spend time dedicated to seeking God’s face. Not so we can “Receive His will” (indeed we probably already know what we should do), but instead for the sole purpose of relating to and with the one who loves us more than anyone else. The Biblical precedent for seeking pervade the Biblical biographies from David to Jesus, Isaiah to Paul, Joshua to John the Baptizer. Discipleship must involve an active seeking-after of divine connectedness through the person of Jesus. Here’s some questions we all need to ask ourselves:

• Is my relationship with Jesus the driving force in my life?
• Am I attuned to the voice of God speaking in the midst of my daily experiences?
• Do I have a “wilderness”, a place where I can go to seek God without being distracted?
• Am I deliberately setting aside time to spend in solitude?

[I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.] [Phil. 3:8-14 NIV]

The Beauty in the Story

I recently spent some time in conversation with another follower of Jesus, one who has a much different opinion than myself on the perspective and ideals of discipleship. At some point in the conversation, I realized there would be no reconciling of our viewpoints, no mutual appreciation of differing perspectives. The chasm between our paradigms was too great to bridge in a single conversation. The essence of our disagreement (albeit amicable) was over how truth is portrayed in story. Quite frankly, I believe this is a problem with much of “christian” culture in what I call “The Bubble” (that is to say, mainstream american Christianity). Somehow the stories we tell all end up resembling some modern adaptation of a 50′s sitcom. Modern Christian movies, music, and literature (in majority) all seem unable to grapple with the reality of good or evil, presenting both as pathetic, shallow caricatures of their reality. This is ironic when you consider that the core standard that  we as Christians claim adherence to, the Bible, suffers no such literary allusions. As a book, the Bible contains unsparing accounts of evil, detailed (though not indulgent) descriptions of the sexual escapades of numerous kings and powerful men, and even a (rather graphic) romance novel in Song of Solomon. Both Jesus and Paul used language that can only be described as colorful, and the very nicknames of the disciples call into question our highly romanticized 21st century icons.

I’m sure by now that many of you are ready to stop reading,  so I’ll get to the point: as someone who is about to embark on a voyage into the uncharted waters of fatherhood, I have been putting much thought into what I will teach Lux (my daughter). So many of my fellow Christians have raised their children in a sort of spiritual biosphere, completely isolated from honesty in regards to the world we live in and the chapter of history we find ourselves in. These children live out a kind of gnostic dualism, and sadly many enter adulthood with a seriously atrophied spirituality…but I am digressing into a matter that is unfortunately too broad for a late-night blog. My point is this: Lux will be raised with an authentic view of both good and evil in all areas of life. She will be taught to recognize both good and evil, to see the light AND the darkness, and to love the light. We will, of course, limit her exposure with regard to her age, but the most important thing I can teach her in regards to the story that she will find herself in is the ability to find beauty in broken people, wholeness in a fractured reality, and truth in a world of lies. I hope and pray she will be able to draw out the “Imago Dei”, the image of God from the messed-up people around her, and that regardless of her path in life, that she will find a dark corner of humanity’s story on which to shine truth, beauty, and hope. I don’t want to give her a perspective of cloistered, fearful, puritanical piety. Rather the sacrificial, overcoming, prophetic, and creative path of a true holiness, one that must often be lived out in the very teeth of evil.

In conclusion, what we don’t need is more “Christian” stories, we need Christians who see the beauty in all stories, who can wade into the darkness and bring the light. Light-bearers who will not cower in church buildings but who dare to stand up to the evil in our world and in our hearts, invading its darkest lairs and vanquishing by the power of good manifested in the beauty of the Way of Jesus. We need to stop telling fairy-tales about “facing the giants” and truly face our own fearful way of life. We need to stop living as if evil doesn’t exist, and stop deceiving ourselves about the nature of evil, and we need to teach our children to do the same. Then, what was true of Jesus will be true of us…

“The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.” [John 1:5 NIV]

The Way I See It #2: “Walk This Way”

Those of you who have had even a few conversations with me know that I often refer to following Jesus as a perspective, a way of viewing life that brings cohesion and meaning to a fractured reality. I find the core of this teaching in Jesus claim to be the “Way, Truth and Life”. His continually insisted that He revealed the truth of life, that He was both the journey and the destination for His followers, that He was the focus of the law, the prophets, and as such was in Himself the future! I fear this is a point far too often lost in american church. I don’t think the problem is in lack of an academic articulation of the intellectual implications of Jesus’ life, nor do I find the flaw in Church to be a failure to understand what Jesus asks of us, but rather an avoidance of the struggle to manifest the life and death of Jesus in our daily experiences. We don’t lack information, we lack determination.

In a few months, Lord willing, my wife and I will pack up a few possessions and our infant daughter to travel around the country and share the Good News with children. We have no other reason than the belief that this is the best way to manifest the teaching and practice of Jesus in our life as a family. To say that we have arrived at this decision lightly would be a lie. We are stepping into the unknown in so many ways with no guarantees of safety or security,

The Way I See It #1: “It’s all about action…or is it?”

So many of the problems within our expressions of Christianity seem to have their origins in a lack of practice. It’s not a lack of correct practice, but rather a lack of any correlation between expressed belief and corresponding action. So many of the defining elements of Jesus’ life – Identification with the oppressed, community with the outcasts, social disobedience, religious antagonism (to apathetic leaders of the “True religion”), sacrificial giving, etc. are so clearly lacking in current expressions of what was called the Way of Jesus. A cursory survey of Christianity might lead us to conclude that the solution to this glaring omission is some sort of corporate plan,program or academic solution. I disagree most emphatically.

The last half of the 20th century has taught american Christianity anything, it should be that programs are largely ineffective. Systems designed purely to produce a certain resultant action can never fulfill the mission of the church (which is the manifestation of the reign of God in everyday life). We don’t need a new program, we need a new perspective.  Perspective is not only what we look at, but how we look,  who we look for, and what we see. In a church that has chosen politics over people and resources over relationship we are in desperate need of Jesus’ Kingdom perspective.

“Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when it is bad, your body is filled with darkness. Make sure that the light you think you have is not actually darkness. If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight were filling you with light.” [Luke 11:34-36]

How much have we allowed the nationalistic, imperialist ideals of our time to cloud our vision? Do we value what Jesus and his apostles valued? Look at the early days of the Church, and I believe the answer will be a stark indictment of our pretentious modern piety. We have cathedrals but no community, we have degrees without discipleship, we have communion without confession. Are the teachings and practice of Jesus enough for us, or have we become too sophisticated for a Simple Way?

“It is enough for the disciple to be like his Teacher” – Jesus