The Suburban Vagabond

On a search for a better world, finding it in the most unlikely places

In Between Dreams

A sabbatical can be a grave thing. At this moment the fledgling family that I like to call my tribe is circling our lives in a holding pattern. In between what I hope is a momentous future and what has been a tumultuous season in our lives, we are working out the difficult uncertainties of 21st century life. This, however, I know to be true: sometimes God taps you on the shoulder and says “Step aside.”or me, I have found this season to be simultaneously completely refreshing and deeply frustrating. On the positive side, I have been using this moment to analyze what I have learned from the last couple of years.

Some big realizations have included:

  • I am, have been, and always will be uncomfortable in a group of “insiders”, particularly those of the religious stripe. The anarchist in me despises elitism in any form, and the disciple in me gets annoyed when church people start making decisions for God. I am an outcast, and I’m not selling out until all the outsiders are insiders and we can stop using outsider/insider terminology.
  • Solitude, Silence, Reflection, and the Wilderness are non-negotiable essentials of a healthy life. The above things are counter-intuitive to all modern thinking.
  • Directly related to the above…I need God. I’m screwed if I try this life thing on my own. That’s not necessarily a new realization, but one that I feel pressing on me with a renewed urgency. At 25, I’m halfway to 50 – and already well into my adult years. Life is too short to screw around. This is real.

On a side note, being a dad continues to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Watching Lux as she learns to walk, talk, and interact with the wide world is something so beautiful I’m not sure I can adequately describe it. Parenthood is challenging in a way nothing else in life is, but the payoff is infinitely proportional to the sacrifice…Lux, by the way, is now saying “eewwwww”, “touch that” (which we at first thought, with much consternation, was “ta-tas”), “more”, “NO!” (oh joy), along with the usual complement of baby words…

Music continues to become a larger part of my life. I am writing songs at a rate that is, for me, furious. (this means, like, 1 a month). Being a perfectionist about music  is really annoying, and I am constantly revising. However, I have material recorded, with what I consider an acceptable quality soon to follow. Stay tuned.

I’m sure I will enter the theological and philosophical fray again soon, but until then,

The Suburban Vagabond

I will leave you with an excerpt from the Kingdom New Testament, translated by NT Wright. I have been reading through the gospels again…more to follow on that soon:

“Blessings on the poor in spirit! The Kingdom of Heaven is yours.
Blessings on the mourners! You’re going to be comforted.
Blessings on the meek! You’re going to inherit the earth.
Blessings on people who hunger and thirst for God’s justice! You’re going to be satisfied.
Blessings on the merciful! You’ll receive mercy yourselves.
Blessings on the pure in heart! You will see God.
Blessings on the peacemakers! You will be called God’s children.
Blessings on you who are persecuted because of God’s way! The Kingdom of Heaven belongs to you.”
[Matthew 5:3-10, KNT]


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This entry was posted on 2011/11/09 by in Uncategorized.

Shorter thoughts…

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